After 16 years of marriage, for awhile the song in my spirit was gone

By Jaunelle Hamilton White

Since I was a little girl, I’ve always enjoyed the praise and worship portion of church service. Often through the week, I find myself humming or belting out one of my favorite songs. However, the last few months have been different.

I lost my husband unexpectedly on August 28, 2022. We celebrated our 16th year of marriage July 22, 2022. For the last 21 years of my life, not a day went by that I didn’t communicate with him. We sent a text if we didn’t speak. While I know this looks different for the person that had 30, 40, or 50 years with their spouse, one thing remains true for me: Life has changed forever. 

The praise and worship songs didn’t come as often for several weeks. My faith and belief in God’s amazing favor had not changed, but my heart didn’t feel like singing for some reason. However, through many conversations, Bible verses, books, and moments of reflection, those beautiful songs I love to sing were resurrected in my spirit. One of my favorites is “What a Friend we Have in Jesus.” I can hear you singing it with me!

 Someone is watching

As I reflect on my responsibility of leading the athletic department at Point University, I’m reminded someone is always watching. God assigned me to serve the students, faculty, and staff at Point for a reason. I must ensure his light shines brighter than ever, especially when it’s hard. I pray Psalm 119:133 daily, “Order my steps in thy word: and let not any iniquity have dominion over me.” The shirt I have on today references the scripture with heels that sparkle!

 Gifted by God

A series of posts by one of Dean’s friends
telling us how they pursue the challenge of daily obedience to Jesus.

When I speak to student-athletes, I remind them they didn’t get this far on their own. I’m sure their parents, guardians, teachers, coaches, and other family members played an important role. But God created them for this moment. “But he that knew not and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes.  For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much of him they will ask the more” (Luke 12:48). It’s far too easy to think because we put in the time and shed blood, sweat, and tears, we should get the praise. It doesn’t work that way. God gave us everything we need for his glory and his glory alone!

 Sharing the testimony

As my grandmother used to say, trouble doesn’t always last, and joy comes in the morning. Whatever your circumstance, keep Psalm 55:22 close to your heart: “Cast your cares on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.” Your situation is temporary and was sent to make you stronger. Ask God to reveal the lesson so you do your part in sharing the testimony.

I’m relatively private, but I’ve found myself sharing my feelings on social media and in small settings. If my openness is meant to help someone through their trial, I want to do my part to get them where God would have them to be.

Photo by Jon Tyson at Unsplash.com

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Jaunelle White joined Point University as the institution's athletic director in the fall of 2021. She was promoted to Vice President of Intercollegiate Athletics in the spring of 2022.  White is the university's third athletic director and first female director.  She comes to Point with nearly 20 years of athletic administration experience, particularly at the NCAA Division I level. Most recently, White served as the senior associate athletic director for internal operations and senior woman administrator at Indiana University—Purdue University Indianapolis. She has served in several athletic administrative roles, including compliance, at Texas Southern, University of South Alabama, Middle Tennessee State University and Louisiana State University. She is a native of Lawrence, Kansas and played collegiate volleyball at Auburn University from 1996 to 2000.  She has four children (MaKiah, Jailyn, Layla, and Marcus II).