Each stage has a story for us to remember and share with others

By Dean Collins

After earning a graduate degree in counseling, I continued to take courses in marriage and family therapy. It was in the mid-80s when I first learned about family systems theory. I had, of course, studied developmental psychology and was also exposed to the stages of faith development. But the lightbulbs started coming on as I learned more about the stages of marriage and family. Suddenly there was a framework that, at least for me, pulled everything together. I began to think about how our family systems influence our personal and faith development.

Depending on which theorist you read, you will find as few as four stages of development and as many as nine or ten. The differences tend to be how a scholar might collapse or expand different life stages. Each stage of development has key markers of life events that we pass through on our pilgrimage of life toward maturity.

A good therapist can help an individual, a couple, or even a family understand stages where they might have gotten stuck and therefore may have missed important development and how this may contribute to both maturity and health, including its impact on family members.

Stages, struggles, victory

All of these thoughts came flooding into my mind this morning as I read the first sentence of Numbers 33: “These are the stages of the people of Israel, when they went out of the land of Egypt by their companies under the leadership of Moses and Aaron.” Commentaries suggest there are 42 places named in this chapter. Some of the stages are common to other narratives, and some are not mentioned in other stories, possibly because some places were less relevant to the story being presented in those passages. But for some reason, it was important to name these places for Moses and for all of Israel.

Just last week as I was struggling with a difficult situation, a friend walked me through various stages God has led me through in the last 12 years. What I realized was that in the middle of difficulty, we often forget to look back and see all that God has done to get us to this moment. Looking back we realize the amazing story that God is writing in us and through us.

The narratives of the first five books of the Bible are not just about central characters but also about the big story God is writing in history. Each character’s story, including yours and mine, is important, and our stories are a part of the bigger and wonderful work of God in and through his kingdom.

Career, health, family

Take a few minutes and assess where you are in the various stages of life. What stage are you in your career? Just beginning? Contemplating a change? Considering retirement? And what about your health? In a stage of recovery? A new diagnosis? In a season of good health? Feeling the aches and pains of aging? Of course our family stages are relevant. Singleness, marital status, stages of development of children, empty nesters, or considering a move into one of your children’s homes or a seniors community. Taking time to consider the stages that bring us to the next stage and even what God has for us to do in this new stage can bring reflection and celebration.

Your story is important to God. Our stories are important to more people than we probably realize. Maybe today is a good day to listen to someone else’s story to consider what God wants for you. It could be that you need to write down or tell someone your story. You never know how your stages of development might bring healing and hope to you and to others.

Dear Father, we confess that in the rush of our lives and with all of the worries we have about our world, we often forget to remember what you have already done in us, through us, and for us. Thank you for bringing us to this day. Thank you for providing for every need. Thank you for using us in your kingdom work. Thank you for the people you have placed in our stories.
We surrender our current stage of life to you and ask that you use it for your glory and your purposes. Help us listen better to the stories of others. Direct us to the people and the moments where you want us to share our story. We are overwhelmed with joy that you are shaping our stories even today. Direct our paths today. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Your time with God’s Word
‭‭Numbers‬ ‭33‬:‭1‬-‭7‬ ‭ESV

Photo by S O C I A L . C U T on Unsplash

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