How this ‘new commandment’ addresses a problem as old as time

By Dean Collins

Webster defines hatred as extreme dislike or disgust. And a second definition is ill will or resentment that is usually mutual. I suspect many believers would resist admitting the idea that we have any hatred in our hearts for anyone. After all, we are a group that sings about love all the time. Some readers are old enough to remember this classic, often sung in the key of E minor: “And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love. Yes, they’ll know that we are Christians by our love.”

It’s true. We are to be known by our love. It was Jesus who told us as much:

“A new commandment I give to you,” he said, “that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:34-35).

God’s love, our hate

God was first in the love game. He created us in his image. He created a truly wonderful world for us to live in and steward. He sent his Son to reconcile us to himself because of our sin. He has prepared a place for us in eternity. He has equipped us for ministry. He uses us to bring his kingdom here on earth as it is in Heaven. He will one day return to restore all things for all time. God is motivated by love and has lavished us with his love. He asks that as his children we do the same with and for all of his creation, including the one or ones we might be holding hatred for even in this moment.

I doubt any of us claim to be self-righteous. Being self-righteous doesn’t look good on our résumés or in person. But according to Solomon, when we hide our hatred, we actually make ourselves out to be a liar. We might fool some people sometimes, but we can’t fool God. Our self-denial of the secret hatred we hold will often turn on us, eventually making us look foolish because others see what we won’t admit about ourselves.

Solomon understood that none of us is immune from sin. When he dedicated the temple he said as much: “And who has never sinned?” The apostle Paul stated this clearly and quoted from Old Testament sources as well. All people “whether Jews or Gentiles, are under the power of sin. . . . No one is righteous—not even one.”

Jesus’ sacrifice, our freedom

Because of the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross for our sins, we are forgiven. This is life-changing even life-giving news! We need not live under the power of sin. We have been set free, and our freedom must translate into love for everyone. But we must remember that we still have temptations to act in the flesh, and sometimes we do. That behavior sadly shows up in “extreme dislike” for another person or group because of how we believe they have treated us. And the truth is, other people both followers of Jesus and those who are not, say and do things unkind and unfair. The result is hurt and pain. Left unattended, these emotions can easily turn into hate toward others.

Solomon’s advice is not to hide our hatred in our hearts. It will make liars out of us and eventually make us look foolish as it spills out in our behavior and through our speech.

Solomon also reminds us that while hatred stirs up quarrels, love makes up for all offenses. The very best way to allow love to do its amazing work of healing begins when we take the step of offering forgiveness for the hurt we have inflicted by the hate, even momentary hate we allowed in our hearts. The quicker we deal with our sin before God, the quicker the love begins to flow through us again.

Finding the triggers

If in prayer and in meditation on God’s truth we realize that we hold hate in our hearts, we can both seek forgiveness and then ask God to help us identify what might be prompting our feelings of hatred. Recently I gave up social media for Lent because I need to be away from the constant negative noise that comes from the right and the left and sadly from believers as often as nonbelievers.

It is so easy to slip into negativity and let it grow into something as damaging as hatred. King Solomon’s advice in dealing with our hatred is sound. Admitting to God the hatred we sometimes hold leads to repentance and forgiveness and results in our being able to reflect God’s love more genuinely in a world so desperate to experience his love and grace.

Your time with God’s Word
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭10‬:‭18‬; ‭‭1 Kings‬ ‭8‬:‭46; Romans‬ ‭3‬:‭9‬-‭12; Proverbs‬ ‭10‬:‭11‬-‭12‬ ‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Photo by Marah Bashir on Unsplash

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Dean Collins

Pastor, campus minister, counselor, corporate employee, Fortune 500 consultant, college president—Dean brings a wide range of experiences and perspectives to his daily walk with God’s Word. 

In 1979 he founded Auburn Christian Fellowship, a nondenominational campus ministry that still thrives today. In 1989 he founded and became executive director for New Directions Counseling Center, a service that grew to include several locations and counselors. In 1996 he became vice president of human resources for the CheckFree Corporation (3,000 employees) till founding DC Consulting in 1999. He continues part-time service with that company, offering executive leadership coaching, organizational effectiveness advice, and help with optimizing business relationships.

His latest pursuit, president of Point University since 2006 (interim president 2006-2009), has seen the college grow in enrollment, curriculum, physical campus, and athletic offerings. He led the school’s 2012 name change and relocation from Atlanta Christian College, East Point, Georgia, to Point University in West Point, Georgia. Meanwhile, he serves as board member or active volunteer with several nonprofits addressing issues ranging from global immunization to local government and education. 

He lives in Lanett, Alabama, with his wife, Penny. He has four children (two married) and five grandchildren. He plays the guitar, likes to cook, and enjoys getting outdoors, often on a nearby golf course. 

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We understand, because we’ve suffered through storms ourselves